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Nra: Arm Teachers! Let's Arm the Kids, Too! What We Need Is More Guns!

Updated on July 21, 2021

NRA Solution For School Shootings

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300 Million Guns Are Not Enough! Let's Have Guns In Every School And Classroom!

Let's arm our teachers! For the last week, in conservative blogs and on Fox News, where the finest brains of America go to solve our nation's most complex problems, we have heard about how arming teachers is the answer to school violence. And today, at a news (?) conference, the NRA says we need policemen or armed guards in every school and have teachers armed. Yet, little more than a week ago, before the massacre in Newtown, teachers were being called lazy, incompetent, selfish and out only for themselves. Now, the conservative blogosphere as well as the premier lobbyist for gun companies, the NRA, want all of these supposedly incompetent ne'er-do-wells to become Rambos of the playground. We are to believe that all of these "incompetent" teachers are to strap on a leather holster and engage in shoot-outs with the sickest in our society. What should we arm them with? Well, according to the smartest man (NOT) in Congress, Louie Gohmert from Texas, M-4's would work nicely. So, along with their teaching credentials on graduation day, let's hand them all a gun so they can shoot off the heads of would be mass killers. Of course, if a wanna be teacher can't shoot straight, he or she simply can't qualify to become a teacher.

Living In The Cuckoo's Nest!

The people advocating this craziness have finally stopped flying over the cuckoo's nest; they have moved in and taken up permanent residency. Wayne LaPierre, the executive vice-president for the NRA has been living in the cuckoo's nest for a long time. Apparently, he is not leaving anytime soon. The only time LaPierre ever leaves his nest (he is still a cuckoo) is when one of his members who may also be in elected office strays away from NRA philosophies. Then if that elected politician dares to speak up for any legislation that might negatively affect the sale of guns, LaPierre will have them removed from office... His large lobbying group will spread lies about the once loyal candidate and ruin his or her political career. NRA enforcement makes the Mafia look like a ladies' church group made up of goodie-two-shoes.

In the spirit of 'cuckoo nest syndrome', I suggest that we go a step further: Let's arm the students, too. Instead of Math and Science classes, substitute the class Assault Rifles 101. La Pierre says that the NRA has youth gun training programs. After all, if all kids AND all teachers are armed, schools will be safer. In fact, arm everyone! If kids don't own their own guns, as they enter school each morning they can be issued one, to be returned at the end of the day. Don't invest in library books, buy guns! And if the policeman at the door doesn't survive a shooter's initial hail of bullets, the kids and teachers will be there to back him up!

And let's not forget about pre-schools! Of course, the little ones will have to have smaller guns. Not enough protection? Modify the baby guns with clips that can hold 30 or 100 rounds.

Movie theaters, the same. As you pick up your popcorn and drink, grab a theater-issued gun! This way, if some crazy decides to start shooting or talking on their cell phone, everyone has a better chance of survival.

Shopping malls? Bring your guns! That way if you are in line and someone starts shooting or takes cuts, blow 'em away!

Churches? There have been shootings at churches, too! Before you pass the collection plate, pass out the guns!

LaPierre insists that, "The only way to stop a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun."

NRA Blames Media, Video Games, Movies -Not Guns- We Need More Guns!

If you thought that the NRA would actually contribute something of value to the conversation on common sense gun legislation, you, of course, were wrong! The NRA is a front for the corporations that produce and sell guns and nothing more. More guns, more money!

Guns just don't kill people---today LaPierre said that the media kills people, video games kill people and the movie industry kills people. He is one smart man! He never even entertained the notion that guns actually kill people because they don't... Policemen armed with guns never die and are never shot. Security guards armed with guns always survive assaults.

The answer to mass shootings is so simple. The only viable answer is more guns!

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